Dear Son,
Just want to tell you that no matter how many painkillers
and anesthetics they give, no birth is ever an EASY one. But I really don’t
remember the pain; I only remember the overwhelming feeling of joy when I held
you in my arms.
You were certainly not an easy baby. Sometimes, you used to
cry entire nights. Sometimes, you used to wake up for what seemed like a
thousand times during the night. Those sleepless nights must have been like a
nightmare. But whenever you woke up, I used to give you a kiss and smile at
you. I only remember the happiness, son.
You became more cranky and demanding as you grew. Sometimes
you used to cry and I would settle you on my shoulders and walk in our lounge -
that was the only way you would calm down. And it wasn’t easy to feed you
either. You would run around the house and I would chase you with the plate in
my hand.
There was a time when people would compliment my clear skin.
But now, it’s all dark circles and freckles and a total wreck. My skin is no
longer important for me. Because you love me, and you say “Mama, you are cute”.
You are with me and that’s all that matters.
You are growing up now and every time you come and hug me, I
count my blessings. One of these days, you will be all grown up and you will
feel embarrassed about hugging me. If hugging makes you feel embarrassed, you
don’t really need to.
But I just want you to be nice to me. I don’t want you to
remember me once in a year. I don’t want you to send me expensive gifts once in
a year. I want you to make me feel I am your mother and you love me, every day
of your life.
My son, there were times when I got really upset and wanted
to leave everything and run away. Raising a child isn’t easy at all. There were
times it got really stressful and I couldn’t handle it. But I didn’t leave; I
stayed because a mother is supposed to stay. One of these days I am going to
grow old and I’ll be frustrating sometimes. But I want you to be nice and
loving towards me, no matter what.
Son, all my friends buy expensive clothes every summer. But
I don’t. Because I save money for your education and to buy you new clothes and
all the things you want. But when I grow old, I might get tired of my boring
closet and I might go and buy new clothes. Please son, don’t ever say “Mom, you
are overspending.” It’s going to break my heart.
There are times when I really crave a romantic dinner with
your father at some Chinese restaurant. But we don’t go. Because whenever we go
out, it’s for you in some Fast Food restaurant with a Play Land. But when I
grow old, I might get bored sitting at home all day. And I might want to go to
places. If I ever ask you to drop me to a friend’s house, don’t ever say “Mom,
why can’t you stay at home?” That’ll break my heart.
Son, there are times when I am working and stressed out and
you come to talk to me. Some game on your tablet isn’t working and you come to
ask me for help. I leave everything to help you and listen to your endless
stories about school. But when I grow old, I won’t have much to do. And then, I
will call to talk to you. Please don’t ever say “Do you need anything? I am
busy!” That’ll break my heart.
Son, I don’t want you to give me cards and expensive gifts
once in a year. I just want you to be nice to me and love me just the way you
do now.
That’s all I want.
Love,
Your Mother
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