For all those with a DSLR – SHOW IT SOME DAMN RESPECT

Go to Kolachi or any other Do Darya restaurant even the cheap Noorani Kabab House and you will see youngsters roaming around with huge DSLRs hung over their shoulders. The trend of owning a Nikon or a Canon has spread like a wildfire in Pakistan. It’s the next NEW thing out there. I wonder how Sony cyber shots are still in business. Someone told me “cyber shots are gone now. It’s the age of DSLR!”

Oh my God, do you even know what DSLR actually stands for? Yes, the salesman was saying something and he gave me a manual too but who cares? I have a DSLR and I can’t wait to tell my friends. I’ll post a status on Facebook. No wait, I have an idea. I’ll post a picture of my own reflection in the mirror holding the DSLR. The news will spread!

Hahaha.

According to Ovais Munshi in his blog at Express Tribune, “Having a DSLR is like having the best backpack in the 2nd grade, and the best Pokemon cards in the 8th grade.”

It’s the new iPod and owning this gear suddenly makes you the most popular person in your neighborhood. Having a DSLR hung over your shoulder suddenly exalts your status. Oh, I am so sad my tiny cyber shot will look like a keera in front of your DSLR. L

Ovais Munshi says, “It doesn’t matter whether you take a picture of your friends striking awkward poses or a picture of an open sewer line, they will be filed under the same folder. That folder will ingeniously be named ‘Randoms’. No matter what picture you upload, it will be showered with praise. The pixels will transcend all worldly boundaries and attain a level of absolute beauty. Plato will roll over in his grave.”

Yes, that’s the worst part. They have absolutely no photographic talent.  

And the most laughable part is, when you ask them what settings they use, they say “we use automatic.” Ask them about shutter speed, focal length, DOF, ISO, or white balance, and they will frown at you HUH? WHO CARES?

JOKE OF THE CENTURY. It’s like you use a smartphone but don’t know what internet is. It's like getting a stethoscope just because you want to hear a dhak dhak. 

Oh, come on Pakistanis and especially Karachities, you don’t need to get crazy after every other NEW thing out there. At least show some respect to this professional gear. This isn’t a 3-piece lawn suit by Sana Safinaz that you must get if you want to be accepted by your friends. This isn’t even the new iPhone 5, which costs around the same as DSLR. Believe me, you will look more prestigious with an iPhone 5 than you do running around with your DSLR, “poking it into random areas and trying to look sophisticated, adjusting settings (of course you are just fiddling with the buttons figuring out their functions.)”

Oops. Sorry for the sarcasm.

But don’t worry. Most of these guys with DSLRs have no interest in photography at all. They show no real interest in learning the techniques of photography and improving their skills. And hence, the demise of this crazy trend will soon happen. Their DSLRs will soon be forgotten. They will soon realize that a cyber shot is just as good as a DSLR if all they want to do is shoot their friends or perhaps the 'open sewer lines'. And that their pictures aren’t really as oh-my-gosh as they think. Lucky for those who are still loyal with their cyber shots.

But for those with a DSLR, please be kind enough. Take out some time to learn the basics of photography. Your DSLR will give you dua. Warna qayamat ke din ye bhi bolay ga “AGAR ISTIMAAL KARNAY NAHI ATA TU KHAREEDA KIUN” Sorry, Humaima :p

Credits: http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/7860/buying-a-dslr-doesnt-make-you-a-photographer/

Do Not Buy SLIMING Herb!!!

By saying NO, I mean IT!

Go to any big superstore and you will see this product everywhere. The storeowner will tell you “yes, it works”. See the reviews online and it is really the most popular weight loss product worldwide. But still, I say DON’T BUY IT! You will be doomed. After all, you don’t get bathrooms everywhere.

If you look at the box, there is a slim silhouette of a woman in a poppy field and the name “Sliming Herb” is written on it. See the bottom and it’s written German herb (Thai) & Co. and you would think a bunch of German guys manufactured it who probably didn’t know the correct spelling of Slimming and named it as Sliming. But you, knowing better, would probably spell it and pronounce it as Slimming. But that is your first mistake. Those German guys knew what they were doing. They realistically named it as SLIMING not Slimming. And that is what you will realize when you actually sip this tea and undergo the trauma that will follow.

See the back of the box and it says “FOR THE OVERWEIGHTED PERSON WHO DO NOT WANT TO CONTROL HIS DIET”. Well, that’s you, so you grab the box and since it’s so cheap, you go to the cash counter and buy it. That is your second mistake.

Then the third mistake is when you follow the instructions and bear the ordeal of the nauseous taste and smell of this tea. You are probably thinking, “it’s a weight loss product so obviously it will taste bad” OR “the bad taste is bearable as long as it helps me lose weight”. If you are new to the product and don’t have any idea how bad it will taste, let me illustrate. Take a bit of tree bark, dip it in water, stir it with your toe, and wait for three weeks. That’s the same taste. If you can bear it, well and good.

But your last mistake is when you leave your home after drinking the tea. Halfway down the road when you are stuck in a traffic jam, your stomach suddenly goes on fire. Amidst panicky tears, you hunt for adult diapers in your car hoping that maybe a miracle would happen. Not finding any, you scour your surroundings for any public bathroom. There are no bathrooms but you spot a kachra kundi at the end of the road where a pathan is already slouching. Although you have made fun of pathans throughout your life, at that panicky moment, you are ready to do anything that would cool down the fire. But you are stuck in a traffic jam with no space to park your car and join the pathan.  

So, crying in agony, you wonder one thing; IS THIS DEAL REALLY WORTH IT???